06 December 2001
So this is big for me.
I wrote a song today. And I sang it too. And I wanna try and sing it in public, even. It's a little scary when you think about it.
I don't know if it's a good song or not. I haven't gotten sick of practicing it yet, so that's a good sign. It's been described as
pimp already, but I don't know if that's a positive or not. But I get to play guitar on it, which is good. I haven't played electric in a very long time. I missed it a little.
And I know the first show we have, and we play that song, I'm gonna be so fucking scared to play it. But that's okay. I want to go through that experience, pretend that I'm a musician, even if it's temporary and a complete failure. I'll learn something that way. I think.
I want to work on the song tonight before I go to bed. I might just do that.
.the girl who is not very 11:22 PM
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There are some nights where you don't really want things to happen, when you just want to sit down with some coffee and play nice with your tired head.
Today, with a new very fast burner, was spent
helping out homies. (Which means there's a CD now, but still no pictures on the site. What about NotFromHere? asks Joynt Chiefs.)
But I realized why I'm a writer for an alt-weekly. I mean, why I'm freelance and why I'm picky about my nights out and about.
Wednesday nights at Roma, though it's not really a massive gathering most nights, is a little flyer meeting for
AJ Presents. Some weeks I'm up there and I see people in the parking lot and just wave on the way in. Now that it's colder out, the meetings move inside, and I show up right as everyone's leaving for dinner-- and guess who got asked to go.
And you know what it is? It reminded me of that magical aura you fool yourself into thinking the popular kids had in high school. I mean, even if you hated those people, there was something about them that obviously made them popular and "cool" in someone's book (not ever mine-- I just outright hated them 'cause they weren't true to themselves. Another tangent for another night.) I think that's the perception people have of the whole promo team deal-- that there's actual work involved, just like in any profession (including mine, under various degrees of duress, you know.) But I realized, that when it comes down to it, most big groups of people who have done a lot together are just as dorky as the nerds who hung out in the courtyard after class playing
Magic: The Gathering. They have their stories; and they have their quirks and doofus moments like we all have. And there's something comforting about that. One of the girls came up to me asking quasi-seriously if I was going to write something about about them in the paper because they act like little kids. It was strange to me how things can just flip like that, 'cause the only person there who knew how I ever really acted was Ham, and I was pretty reserved tonight because I wasn't really sure how to gauge the group. (I'm always like that, and it causes me to be really quiet, and then people ask me, like this evening, why I didn't say much.)
But it was cool. It's a good thing to know that no matter what you do in life, if you have friends who like to have a good time, you're gonna act like goofballs. If you didn't, there'd seriously be something wrong with the world.
(But I did get some play nice time with my head tonight, and some lyrics maybe, and that's even better. Productive is always nice.)
.the girl who is not very 12:15 AM
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05 December 2001
This'll be my first post on a computer that's supposed to just play mp3s. Ha, it mocks me.
.the girl who is not very 2:06 AM
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03 December 2001
There's something about sitting down and practicing with a band and getting productive that makes life better somehow.
I don't know what it is, exactly. Maybe it's the excitement of knowing we're going to play shows. Maybe it's the idea of having that certain kind of
real outlet when you're playing, no matter what kind of mood you're in. Or maybe it's that tired, worn out feeling that's so delicious when you get done with an all-day practice.
.the girl who is not very 10:20 AM
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